The Big One sheet set

All I really wanted was a set of black sheets for my bed. I figured if I was looking for basic cotton, it wouldn’t be too hard to find. I remember buying the smoothest, softest sheets ever from JC Penney in the past. I no longer have a full sized bed, so I gave them to mom and I sleep like a baby when I spend the night at her house. To JC Penny it was! I actually found an option on JC Penney’s website but, for whatever reason, black was available in every size but mine (queen). Sears had options online but were backordered until June! June! I mean, we’re talking about sheets here! I went to my local JC Penney, in hopes that they might have my color and size in stock, but there weren’t any black sheets to be found. The same was said for every department store in the mall.

My next stop, then, was Target, which had a variety of black sheets, but I don’t know who would buy them. Aside from the microfiber, which is far too warm for my body, every model felt like crap. Scratch, thick, stiff. There was no way I was going to pay the $50+ for the worst sheets I’ve ever felt. A handful of other stores provided no options. I was starting to think that my simply request was impossible. Bed, Bath and Beyond provided a costly and not-quite perfect solution: I could get black stripes for $90. I was hoping to spend a little less.

I think of Kohls only for clothes and shoes. I’d actually looked on their website, but couldn’t remember anything that seemed to fit my needs. It could be that they’re almost completely sold out of black sheets and they’ve updated the website to reflect that. Regardless, they had an amazing sale but their shelves were nearly empty. I grabbed the closest size and headed to guest services, hoping they might be able to order my size at the insistence of my shopping friend. Wouldn’t you know that they no longer do that, so she employee sent me to the kiosk, which couldn’t help me because it uses the same system as the website.

So I handed the sheets over to the cashier when I was checking out with something else, completely dejected. However, she was pretty awesome and offered to go look for some in back. I had no help but she returned triumphant! I was stoked, because I paid less than $35 for a new set of sheets.

As you can expect, they’re not perfect. They’re not the silky smooth cotton I would have really liked and these sheets definitely feel a little scratchy out of the package. For some reason, the flat sheet felt softer than the fitted one. However, after washing they soften up quite a bit; washing also seems to make lint stick to them. My bed look a little sloppy because of that, but other colors won’t be so problematic. The color is extremely deep and hasn’t faded at all in the wash.

I was worried that just because I’d found sheets, they wouldn’t fit. At the time of purchase, my pillowtop mattress was about 18″ high. It’s definitely sunk some since them, but I’ve consistently had problems finding fitting sheets that fit. The Big One sheets fit before washing and they didn’t seem to shrink at all, another worry. I’m not sure about the return policy, but sometimes you can’t return things after washing.

One thing that I love is that the flat sheet is quite wide. It hands past the edges of my mattress, which is fantastic. When I turn down the sheet and blanket, the sheet extends the full width of the blanket. Sheets that are less wide tend to look sloppy, in my opinion.

These are a little prone to wrinkles, but my flat sheet isn’t doing that annoying curling thing, yet, so we’ll see. I like the feel of these on my skin and, for the price, all the faults are acceptable. That’s pretty much what all the reviews say, too.

When it comes down to it, I think the money is part of the reason that I don’t know what I am doing for my birthday. I’d love to have a big bash or even a picnic in the park, but money’s always a little tight and, if I go to a restaurant, everyone will pay for themselves. Of course, it’s always a little more comfortable if we hang out at my house, or even in an open and public area. Last year, I did dinner with a variety of friends, most of whom ditched me once we got home. It was obvious that it was a group that wasn’t super comfortable together.  It was awkward and made me feel pretty damned uncomfortable.

So, while I’d like to have a big shindig at my house, I can’t/don’t want to pay for it, but I’d really like something a little more enjoyable. Perhaps I’ll do dinner with a few close friends and invite other people over for s’mores over a fire pit or just head back here for some movies and games. I suppose, it should all be about what I want, in the end. It is my birthday after all, I just have a hard time not trying to please everyone (ask Christie).

Compelxion MD

Complexion MD is intended to help in the battle against wrinkles, lessening them over time. The products, including the wrinkle cream I am able to give away to not one, but three!, of my readers, rely on active ingredients such as Palmitoyl Pentapeptid and Hyaluronic Acid to promote elasticity and moisturize skin, respectively. If you’re not sure about the wrinkle products on the market, this is a great opportunity to give Complex MD a try, thanks to WrinkleReview. Perhaps you’ll love it and have softer, smoother skin?

If you’re interesting, you can earn one entry (some more than once!) by leaving a comment for each entry type below. For this giveaway, three winners will win one jar each of Complexion MD!

If you’re interested in this giveaway, leave a comment for each of the following entry types:

• Let me know if you’ve ever tried a wrinkle cream. How did it work? If not, why do you want to try one now? –Mandatory
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• Tweet about this giveaway (once per day) such as: I entered to win a jar of Complexion MD wrinkle cream at  Reviews by Cole http://reviewsbycole.com/?p=3472 Ends 5/28 OR you can use the handy Twitter button on the left.
• Leave a relevant comment on any other post on Reviews by Cole. Leave a link to that comment here.

Giveaway will end on May 28. Open to Canada/USA.

Good luck.

The Origins of Sex

In fact, you’d have to be crazy to think that the author, Faramerz Dabhoiwala, is anything more than diligent in his work. In discussing the changing social views and mores between the seventeenth and eighteenth century, he’s done a lot of research. His arguments come across as objective and valid; although I’m not expert.

The problem is, much of this research is cited within the text. As someone who was reading simply because the evolution and revolutions of sex interest me, I found it read too much like a textbook. I was often skipping the long list of texts the author was referencing, the dates of publication or the years of birth and death that the author deemed worthy of inclusion. Indeed, it would make an excellent study guide for a college course, but reading it straight through is more of a difficult task.

Although this is a dry book, I did learn a lot. I specifically found the later chapters, which discussed prostitution and public perception, the media and the relationship between a woman’s changing rights and the views about sex. Far less interesting, to me, were the copies of art that the author used to exemplify how society was treating sex; however, I do understand how they serve as a scholarly reference.

I’m glad to be done with The Origins of Sex, but I am also glad that I did push my way through it. In fact, the end of this book was quite refreshing, as the author took the time to explain that the sexual revolution and Enlightenment were the beginning of the more recent revolution in sexual mores. Although the 1950s and ’60s have progressed much faster than the first sexual revolution, Faramerz Dabhoiwala points out that it’s merely an acceleration of changes that were already in progress.

That’s pretty obvious if you’ve read any of these posts. Unless you count my kitty babies, I’m not the maternal type and that’s kind of my thing at this point in my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against moms. Many of my friends are moms. It only makes sense. My peers are having babies, multiple babies, which means that many of them are now, sort of, “Mom Bloggers.” Actually, most of them fight against that label, because they were all bloggers long before they were moms. You see, when I started blogging, it was very much a teenaged thing. It wasn’t something that your mom did (ha!). It was a young trend and we were all ranting about boys, boybands and high school. That’s not quite how I remember it, but you get the picture.

So to call these women “Mom Bloggers” is almost insulting. Sure, they talk about their kids and some of them only do that, now, but there’s a lot of history that the label overlooks. I know that many of my friends — Jenn, Ashley and Dez, among others — have struggled to differentiate themselves as more than just moms.

I face a not-entirely-dissimilar fight, but it’s not too similar. The fight I am in and the frustration I feel is directly related to the fact that, as a non-mom review blogger, I am constantly overlooked. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this time and again but, somehow, people aren’t getting the message. Which people? Other bloggers, community owners and PR folks, for one. If I see another pitch directed specifically toward mom bloggers, I feel like I might scream. Mothers are not the only people who shop or who have something to say. Hell, they’re not the only people who have children in their lives, either.

It’s not an issue of gender, because I feel like the label is still more appropriate for a father than it is for me. I am none of the above. I understand that mom bloggers are now on the scene and they are the majority, especially when it comes to non-tech reviews. However, just because I am in the minority doesn’t mean that I cease to exist or that I am not worth acknowledging. Yet, somehow there are dozens of review websites/communities/organizations specifically for moms but not a single one that exists for non-moms.

You know what the easiest remedy to this is? Simply address the community, your readers or other bloggers as “review bloggers.” That way, I never feel excluded and any mom blogger who also writes reviews knows you’re talking to her, too. I mean, it’s really that simple! Why is it that people can’t do that, though? I may not be, say, Gizmodo or Engadget, but if you were to address a message to them, you sure as hell would respect them for what do they: review blogging. Why don’t I deserve the same consideration?

Purple LED Christmas Light Bulb

Now, most of my Christmas lights are pretty old — hand-me-downs, in fact. Not the giant styles of the 80s but I bet they’ve been around at least ten years and they look positively ancient to these LED lights. The bulbs on these are just tiny little nubs compared to my inch-long lights. That’s okay, it means there’s less to break, right? In fact, while this set does come with replacement fuses, there are no replacement bulbs. This leads me to think that I won’t have to replace them. The whole set does seem less fragile.

Another difference is that the purple is very bright. They’re described as a “warm” purple and it’s true! They’re more pastel than the blacklight-like purple lights I’ve used for Halloween. This means that the specific color is more appropriate for Christmas, if you wanted to decorate with less traditional colors. It looks rather blue in my photo, which is just the effect of lighting and the camera. The strand I got was insulated in white, and not green, but it looks like Holiday LEDs has some green ones, too, to match your tree.

Purple LED Lights

There is a bit of room for improvement, though.

The insulation on these is pretty thick, which makes these a little bit hard to work with. They definitely want to twist back into the shape that they were in, in the plastic (which was just a clear plastic bag — okay with me!). I hope they become more supple over time, because this is a pretty big problem. It’s good for outdoor use but there’s more corners and such indoor, which make it more problematic. In fact, I was trying to get a feel for how long the strand is — turns out it’s 25′ — but I couldn’t, because of all the twisting. I wanted to make my photo of a pretty heart-shape, but just couldn’t. I need an extra hand or three.

Nevertheless, they’re still pretty. They seem resilient. Plus, they’re energy-star rated and use the standard plug, with a plug on the end for more strands. The transition to LED is one that makes sense and provides more color options than glass or plastic, and I think anyone who loves purple — or any other color — would like these.

The Self Illusion

So, the book basically takes a stab at explaining how the brain develops the sense of self and identity. How do we come by the “I” that is so pivotal to our existence? Hood breaks down how the brain develops, how we socialize, how society has developed and how humans differ from other animals, to name a few concepts. It’s pretty interesting. He references other studies and, when applicable, gives examples from his own life. The mention of his family makes the author seem personal and, I think, makes this book a little easier read than it otherwise would be. It’s shorter than it looks, when you exclude the credits and references at the end, but still took a little brain power for me to get through.

Bruce argues that there is no “I.” Rather, the sense of self is a product of all the processes that occur in our brains as well as influences by our surroundings and people in it. In fact, some of the studies that have shown just how much we can be influenced by other factors, rather than the internalize sense of self, is pretty astounding. It also clearly exemplifies why the sense of an unchanging self is, to put it bluntly, bologna.

Hood talks about some of the very famous studies from the 60s and 70s, like the one by Solomon Asch, so not everything in this book was new, even though the basic concept was foreign to me. I found myself nodding along as I read, understanding his points but simply shocked at how much I believed in my own self only to realize that my brain has been painting a picture to fill in the holes left by its processes and other influences, much like our eyes do with optical illusions.

Some people might not like the implication that our lack of control equals a lack of free will but I think the author did a nice job of explaining that no matter what science says, sometimes the way society works and humans think or act, doesn’t quite follow the plan. On the other hand, it’s nice to be able to distance ourselves from our selves sometimes, too.

Of particular interest to me, was the chapter on how the Internet is changing our senses of identity, not just the way we communicate or live. It’s obvious — and it’s obvious to see that Bruce is excited about this — that the technology we are readily accepting is having a much more profound affect on us than most people will ever realize.

This isn’t the type of book that I’d recommend to everyone. However, it is the type of book that I’d recommend to anyone who wanted to learn more about identities and how the brain works. The Self Illusion: How the Social Brain Creates Identity a good refresher of neuropsychology at the very least. Anyone who works or studies in this field will have a more educated opinion, I’m sure. I found it fascinating nonetheless.

40 Days to Better Living -- Anxiety

I recently discovered a website that allows bloggers, reviewers and other folks to read copies of books. I was approved for a lot of books. This expands my to-read exponentially, which is both good and bad considering that I am in the middle of a book that I can’t get into. I figured something that could potentially help with anxiety would be good so I requested 40 Days to Better Living: Anxiety.

This book is split up into six sections, each beginning with a story of a person who has struggled with anxiety. The rest of each section is then a workbook, dedicated to the daily activitis that the author believes will help deal with anxiety. The sections walk you through morning, daytime and evening rituals to help you cope with anxiety. Those activities are all split into categories such as medical, work, emotional and nutritional. It’s nice to see such a broad approach to anxiety and suggestions for exercise or changing your diet to help anxiety. Because it is a workbook that you’re literally supposed to write in, I felt it a bit disappointing as a digital copy.

Each day, you’re intended to perform small activities, like listing loved ones who will help you with anxiety troubles,  switching up routine or taking a walk. The suggestions are easy enough to complete, for the most part, and I like the “baby steps” approach. The categories become a little more challenging. For example, the movement category suggests adding 2000 step to your daily routine at week 6 and, I assume, you’re supposed to keep this up. Taking life one-day-at-a-time is usually beneficial if you have anxiety and t However, this book will not be helpful for all for a couple reasons.

Journaling receives heavy focus, whether pen and paper or on the computer. I like to write and  I have a lot to say and I understand why this is a suggestion. However, not everyone will feel the same about it and they may find the focus to be overwhelming.

Secondly, faith/God are heavy influences here. The workbook is full of quotes from the Bible and suggestions and there is a lot of passages about how the struggle of anxiety relates to God or worship and how God can help you through it. It’s not that you can’t ignore this if you’re not religious but it’s unlikely that an atheist would pick up this book in the first place because of it. Thus, any benefit it may have is limited to the group of people who believe God can help them overcome anxiety — at least, in part. Now, I won’t say this isn’t the case because religion can be just one part of your life that is a boon when you’re trying to slay the beast that is anxiety. Still, the general advice in this book can apply to most people and it’s a shame the religion is so heavy.

Ultimately, I think there’s good things to be read here. Someone who likes structure, writing and religion may find it helps ease their anxiety. Others could pick and choose from the activities to find those that ease the mind but, then again, having to do so isn’t exactly something that would help with anxiety, anyway. Because so much of the book is intended for activities, it doesn’t have that much in terms of content. In fact, this is a hands-on workbook and not one that you should expect to actually read. If you’re still interested after this closing paragraph, then it’s the book for you. I’m still looking for something that better pertains to me and my anxiety.