Denny’s Hobbit Menu

Date Wed, December 5 2012

So I’m the kind of nerdy person who goes to Denny’s when they have a Lord of the Rings inspired menu and orders shit off of it. Don’t worry, my friends do, too. And it’s been a while since I’ve reviewed any sort of food, so you get to read alll about it.

Does Bilbo really like smoothies?!

Does Bilbo really like smoothies?!

Denny’s is doing this hobbit menu to celebrate The Hobbit, which will soon be in theaters. The items on the menu fall into two categories: normal food with LOTR-ish names and food that characters might actually eat. For example, my Bilbo Berry Smoothie was nothing more than a regular smoothie with Bilbo thrown in front of it, while Wendy ordered a pot roast skillet that seems genuinely Middle Earthly. In fact, that pretty much sums up the way we ordered. I got normal food with special names for the most part, and she didn’t.

Because I didn’t eat most of her food, I’ll tell you about mine. My berry smoothie was good but not great. It wasn’t super sweet; although it was filling. I don’t think hobbits like smoothies, though, so this one only gets 1/5 points.  To be honest, I think I would have enjoyed the Lone-Lands Campfire Cookie Milk Shake better. It’s a giant shake that comes with extra in the metal cup, and I enjoyed a taste as I dutifully removed her offending whipped cream. It’s very sweet but doesn’t just taste like an Oreo milkshake. 3/5 points for taste.

Is there a hobbit in this hole?

Is there a hobbit in this hole?

My entree was the Hobbit Hole Breakfast, which looks quite a bit better on the menu than on the plate, but it’s not offensive anyway. It comes with hashbrowns and bacon, which everyone likes. The eggs are cooked into cheesy biscuits, which is where the “hole” come in. They almost like like cream cheese doughnut rounds — almost. Our waitress was excellent about taking my specific order, by the way. I got yolks that were both firm and runny, which is how I like my eggs. To be honest, I don’t really like eggs, so I don’t know why I ordered this. I was debating between this and Gandalf’s melt, but it was the day before Thanksgiving and I didn’t want to eat my fill of turkey.

And eat my fill, I did! This as a filling and not-so-messy meal, but it’s hobbit rating is like a 2 out of 5. It’s one more point than the rating of the smoothie, though!

Frodo's Second Breakfast

Frodo’s Second Breakfast

The highest hobbit rating goes to the Frodo’s Pot Roast Skillet. It’s actually served on a skillet, which gives it the feel of campfire food. It consisted of pot roast, potatoes, gravy and plenty of broccoli. It smelled great, even though I hate broccoli, which I think says a lot. Wendy only ate about half, so it was pretty filling, too.

She also earned a side of “Lonely Mountain Treasure,” shown to the right of the skillet. They’re little pieces of “seed cake” french toast with cream cheese sauce for dipping. Seed cake is lemon poppy seed, so it’s a bit citrusy, which works extremely well with the sweet dipping sauce. The cream cheese isn’t travel friendly, but I feel like seed cake fits right in with the theme, so this one gets a 4 out of 5 hobbit points for, er, realism.

Radagast saves animals; we eat them

Radagast saves animals; we eat them

Our third companion ordered some Radagast’s Red Velvet Pancake Puppies, which are exactly what the name suggests. If you’ve never had a pancake puppy, it’s a rolled up pancake that you also get to dip in sweet icing. They were delicious and stupidly sweet, but the inspiration was in the name and not the food itself. You see, Radagast is a wizard who’s big into animal husbandry. He’s always surrounded with bunnies and stuff, so giving him the “puppies” is cute. 3 out of 5 hobbit points.. but mostly for effort. The description says they’re filled with white chocolate chips, but I couldn’t tell. Good nonetheless, and probably the cheapest food item on the hobbit menu over.

Other items on the menu include:

  • Build Your Own Hobbit Slam® (4/5 hobbit points)
  • Shire Sausage Skillet (5/5 hobbit points!)
  • The Ring Burger (5/5 hobbit points)
  • Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (2/5 hobbit points)
  • Dwarves’ Turkey & Dressing Dinner (2/5 hobbit points)

The One Ring cannot be escaped!

The One Ring cannot be escaped!

If you’re keeping track, our meal scores 18 out of a total 25 hobbit points. It’s the equivalent of a C-, but we definitely could’ve upped the nerdy factor by ordering the One Ring Burger or another skillet.

The entrees come with special trading cards. I got a couple dwarves, while Wendy got Gandalf and Radagast. The third card is also a discount or coupon for your next trip to Denny’s, which I like.

I don’t know that I’d order anything other than the snacks off this menu in the future, but it was a fun experience overall. I’ll leave you with one last picture to complete the theme!

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