Halloween Costumes That Ruin My Childhood

Date Sun, October 20 2013

If you haven’t started your costume shopping — shame on you! Get to it (coupons below) — then you might not have realized how every year the shelves fill with a “sexy” version of idealogies from your childhood. This year, I found some costumes particularly interesting.

Blue and Purple Furry Costume

Blue and Purple Furry Costume

Now, I understand that sex sells. I’ve been sexy-er versions of costumes: a wolf and the Cheshire cat. But nothing I’ve worn was downright slutty. However, some of my favorite characters, movie and books have been stolen to use for this purpose, and it’s a little crazy.

Gremlins costume

What is this atrocity?

I just saw Monsters U this summer, and it’s a movie you should see, too, if you liked the first. So I was more than a little disgusted when I came across “Blue and Purple Furry Costume” on the left. It’s not labeled as Sulley, but we all know it’s supposed to be. It just.. hurts my heart.

It’s not just recent things, however. I already feel a little weird about merchandising of things that I loved as a kid, so why does how Gizmo is supposed to look, people!

But it’s weird because both of these are male characters, too, so I don’t know what to make of that.

Mickey Mouse Costume

Poor Mickey Mouse Is All Confused

Mickey Mouse is another beloved, male character who makes this list. Except it goes by the name “Sexy Tux & Ears Costume“. Dudes, you’re not fooling me! I’m starting to think that the people who design these costumes have some.. tendencies.. that they’re afraid to express every other day of the year. Okay, so this one is kind of cute. Just don’t wear it around impressionable children who want to know exactly why Mickey’s chest is bare like that, okay?

But, perhaps, the most confusing item that makes this list today is pizza. Freakin’ pizza. That’s so sexy. Mmm grease.

Obviously, I won’t be wearing any of these costumes this Halloween. I hope that you won’t, either, if I run across you. Can we all agree that some things just weren’t meant to be sexy.. please?

Halloween Costume Sales

If you’ve already gotten your costume, let me know what you’re going to be!

2 Responses

  1. Kisa October 21 2013 @ 10:39 am

    *snort* Yes, Pizza is sooo sexy. They had sexy FRIES too??! Then sexy corn and sexy cookie. Hmm… o.O yea… I’m not getting it?

  2. Cole October 21 2013 @ 7:15 pm

    Sometimes I like to cook my fries in the grease from the pizza and then.. drag it over my body.

    Just kidding!

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